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AL SHARPTON -- OR GOD?

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Oh no :( [08 May 2008|08:08pm]
shainalovesyou
The Reverend has been arrested. :( Please keep him in your prayers, and remember that he can still fulfill his godly destiny from behind the bars of a prison cell.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080507/ap_on_re_us/police_shooting
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Where the man was meant to be [21 Oct 2006|05:15am]
shainalovesyou
Would have made such a fine president, and more.

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oh dear god [22 Apr 2006|05:49pm]
shainalovesyou


Chapter two.
Book of Washington: 10:27:03

Across the land lightening cracked the skies
And thunder boomed on all who opposed
The One True ALmighty God.
The Savior cried,
"Today's terrorist is tomorrow's friend!"

And thousands across the seas,
Burdened by the Saviors lashings,
Picked up machetes and cried, "JIHAD!"
In hopes of a tomorrow
Full of companions with which
To share the good times.

Hail!
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[12 Jan 2006|03:07pm]

recordplayeron
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/graphics/movies/sharptonsalsa.mov
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HAPPY SHARPMAS [03 Oct 2005|08:19pm]
shainalovesyou


Happy Sharpmas everyone.
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God Bless America! [05 Sep 2005|06:09pm]
shainalovesyou


The Reverend believes in the liberty of all mankind. DO YOU?

Does Michael Jackson? (no)

JACKSONISTS H8 AMERICA
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Pope vs. Prophet [30 Jul 2005|11:04pm]
shainalovesyou
This is your Prophet speaking to keep you updated on the debates in scripture that we often have. Please remember that your Pope is that other, weird guy that posts here.

[22:40] Prophet: i bet al sharpton loves vaginas
[22:40] Prophet: you are being blasphemous
[22:41] Pope: if he loves vaginas so much why doesn't he marry one?!?
[22:43] Prophet: think about it
[22:43] Prophet: michael jackson hates vaginas
[22:43] Prophet: al sharpton embraces them
[22:43] Prophet: and he did marry a vagina
[22:43] Prophet: has michael jackson?
[22:43] Prophet: no
[22:44] Pope: .....
[22:45] Pope: NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE!!!
[22:45] Prophet: ok
[22:45] Prophet: a lot of things might not make sense...
[22:45] Prophet: but that does.
[22:47] Pope: i'm so confused :(
[22:48] Prophet: as pope of our religion you have to embrace the truths that the reverend leaves for us
[22:48] Prophet: i am the prophet, so i know them.
[22:55] Pope: i think your'e just making this scripture up as you go along!!!!
[22:55] Prophet: why would I do that?!?!
[22:55] Prophet: this cult religion is very important to me
[22:55] Pope: i think you're just pro-vagina!
[22:55] Pope: and are trying to put your views in the religion!
[22:56] Prophet: no, popes do that
[22:56] Prophet: prophets are speaking of the word of god
[22:56] Prophet: didnt you see that painting/photoshop edit?
[22:56] Pope: oh so i'm the pope and you're the prophet?
[22:56] Prophet: that's how it's always been!
[22:56] Pope: i'm not the one inserting my vagina into the scripture!!!
[22:56] Prophet: you just did!
[22:56] Pope: okay i gotta go. i must make amends with the vagina.
[22:56] Pope: because that is what al wants.
[22:56] Prophet: you inserted your hateful penis into God's vagina!
[22:56] Pope: i must steer myself on the right path!!
[22:56] Pope: MY PENIS IS NOT HATEFUL!!!
[22:57] Prophet: YEAH
[22:57] Prophet: ONLY HATEFUL PENISES HATE GODLY VAGINAS
[22:57] Pope: HE'S VERY LAID BACK AND LIKES WORLD MUSIC

Summary: We still love the Reverend, blasphemers are smitten, and God loves Vaginas.
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No comment [26 Jul 2005|04:21pm]
shainalovesyou
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Happy 4th everyone!! [04 Jul 2005|11:27pm]
shainalovesyou
Now we all know that The Reverend loves America. But to celebrate this year he decided with his buddy George W. to do a little something special....



Much thanks to all who coordinated the event to spread the word of SharptonTheism!
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[11 Feb 2005|12:03pm]

styrofoamjesus
Dear Al,

Thank you for blessing me today, allowing me to find a stray cigarette in my car when I thought I was out, thus salvaging my morning and making this stressful day slightly easier. I forgot, why aren't you president?

Your secret half-pakistani love child,
Imran
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Happy Kwanzaa Ya'll!!! [27 Dec 2004|05:08pm]
shainalovesyou
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[09 Nov 2004|10:36pm]
shainalovesyou


The Book of SharptonTheism.

Preface:

As the prophet of SharptonTheism, I, Shaina The Prophet, do now lay upon you the words of our one true and only God, the ALmighty Al Sharpton. These are the words that came to me when I was lying on a hillside with my muscleman halloween suit on. Above is a picture of my interaction with GOD, before he was sent to Earth to Defeat the Anti-Christ-al Hair Devil Michael Jackson. Please note God has slightly girlish pelvic features.


Chapter one.
Book of Iowa: 08:14:03

"The only way to move the donkey is to slap it," Sharpton said. His followers then slapped the donkey many a times, and so was it moved accordingly. Each follower rejoiced unto the streets to sing the sacred Sharpton-psalm.

We love you Sharpton.
Oh yes we do.
We love you Sharpton.
And we'll be true.
When you're not near us.
We're blue.
Oh Sharpton.
We. Love. YOU!
4 comments|post comment

[07 Nov 2004|12:21am]

styrofoamjesus
Everything I learned about loving a woman, I learned from Al.
3 comments|post comment

[09 Oct 2004|03:02pm]

styrofoamjesus
The other day, out of nowhere came Al Sharpton, and he rotated my tires before disappearing again into the trees.

He truly is our savior.
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DIAL 1800COLLECT [26 Sep 2004|01:56pm]
shainalovesyou
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THE MULTIMILLIONAIRE! [15 Sep 2004|09:55pm]
shainalovesyou
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I PRESENT UNTO YOU [05 Sep 2004|02:04pm]
shainalovesyou
THE MAN IN THE MOON

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YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE SHARPTON [29 Aug 2004|05:05pm]
shainalovesyou


AL SHARPTON IS EVERYWHERE!
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You know he's a movie star. [24 Aug 2004|02:22pm]
shainalovesyou
For all of those still in doubt, I give you:

Al Sharpton, the movie star, of some of the highest grossing movies of all time.

EVER SEEN ANY BROTHERS IN THESE MOVIES??? WELL THERE IS NOW!

Also he is so good he can play all the parts at once.







Isn't it time you converted?
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The worst edit ever [20 Aug 2004|10:04pm]
shainalovesyou
This picture proves all Sharpton can even pull off boobs.

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